Finding and Connecting with Your Hope Supporter and/or Community
Let’s Think About:
- Have you ever had a time in your life when something unexpected happened? Did it change your plans? What did you do? Did someone help you?
- When in your life have you helped someone else? How did you help them? Do you know how your help impacted that person?
We discussed what we can do to overcome obstacles as we progress toward our goals. These are challenges that we can think about or know ahead of time and find ways of solving.
Sometimes life brings unexpected things that we have not planned for, that may be painful or especially difficult, which will challenge our hope. This is when it is so important to remember that we can always use our hope tools to help us no matter what comes our way.
One tool that is especially helpful during these challenging times, is to connect with something sacred. Sacred things are so important because they help us see the world outside of ourselves. They help us remember there is a community of people like us who appreciate and believe in the same things that we do, and that we are not alone.
People can find sacredness in nature, animals, religion, or the feeling we are a part of the never ending and connected universe. It is sometimes importance to release challenges in life, understanding sometimes we can’t accomplish goals or aren’t able to do it all by ourselves. Taking this burden off ourselves, and finding connection to something deeper and sacred, is helpful for creating a hopeful mindset, especially when life is feeling too challenging.
Another absolutely critical tool for maintaining a hopeful mindset is having at least one person you can turn to when feeling hopeless. Someone that we absolutely trust has our best interest in mind, and we can go to with any issue knowing they will simply listen. This is why 7 Cups is such a critical platform, as it provides both people that will listen, and those that need support, a critical component of mental health.
We call this a “Hope Supporter”.
A Hope Supporter is someone who knows and appreciates you, sees your strengths, and helps you keep a hopeful mindset. They are imperative to our hope.
Having a Hope Supporter:
Finding another student at the community center separate from this group to become friends with and run together. Tell a trusted adult and ask for guidance. Focus on what she finds sacred to bring comfort and support.
Reference: Bullying Worksheet
Identify or ask someone to be a Hope Supporter for you. Complete the Hope Network Worksheet to aid in choosing your support person. Keep this in a safe place.
Plant Sunflowers! Sunflowers serve as our symbol for hope. They are an important positive reminder of our own hope and to practice the skills we’ve learned, and share with others in the community the importance of learning Hope. Spread hope by planting sunflowers in your community, hospital, park, or yard and post this sign to let others know about what we are doing for Hope, and importance of practicing these skills.
Let’s work together to build our global hope muscle, inspiring each and every person to learn how to create, maintain, and grow a hopeful mindset.
Story
Kendra’s Unexpected Challenge
We learned that Kendra was successful in finding a way to travel to her community center to keep her action steps in place for her running goal. Kendra was proud of herself for finding a way to solve this expected challenge. However, after her arrival on Saturday, she encountered something she had not anticipated.
Once Kendra got there, she was very excited to be with other kids who enjoyed running as much as she did. Immediately, she approached a group of students to say hello and introduce herself. They glanced briefly at her, but quickly turned back to their own conversation.
When it was time to run, Kendra was amazed at how fast they could go. She tried desperately to keep up, but it was clear that the other students were much faster than her.
After practice, she told them how impressed she was with their pace. The group exchanged knowing looks and rolled their eyes. Then, one of the students replied, “Yeah, you’re really slow. We don’t think you’re good enough to run with us. You’re never going to keep up and you run funny.” The group laughed and walked away. Kendra felt embarrassed, hurt, and defeated.
This was an unexpected challenge for Kendra. Should she give up? How can she find hope in this situation?
Some ideas for Kendra may include:
Having a Hope Supporter: Finding another student at the community center separate from this group to become friends with and run together. Tell a trusted adult if the group continues to be mean towards her and ask for guidance. Focus on what she finds sacred to bring comfort and support.
Ignore the group bullying her. By not giving attention to their teasing and mean comments, they may lose interest when not receiving a reaction.
She may think and remind herself about how far she has come with her running goals. She may not be as fast as the other kids, but she is running farther than she had been when she first started. She has created her own success. Her enjoyment of running does not have to change because she may not be as fast of a runner.
Kendra’s Solution
Kendra went home that afternoon and told her parents what happened. Her parents both gave her a big hug and reminded her of how hard she had been working and the progress she had made. They encouraged her to try the group again and see if there was another student who may be interested in running with her.
Kendra had been so impressed with the group running fast the first day, she didn’t pay attention to some of the other kids at the center. She agreed to try again the following Saturday.
When Kendra returned, she avoided the mean kids and focused on finding another friend. She found another girl Emma who was quiet at first, but after talking they realized they had a lot in common. They enjoyed running at a slower pace and complimented one another as they improved each Saturday.
The other group still made mean comments at times, but Kendra and Emma stuck together and ignored them. Eventually, the group moved on to teasing someone else at the center.
What could they do if the group continued to be mean to them? What if the bullying got worse? How could Kendra and Emma help the new person being teased?
Hope Exercise
Answer the questions below to the best of your ability. When you’ve completed them correctly, you will move on to Lesson 12: Giving Hope!
- In the story, Kendra encountered an unexpected challenge. She handled the situation by:
a. keeping the problem to herself.
b. telling her parents and coming up with a solution together.
c. working hard to run fast.
d. none of the above.
2. Our hope tools can be used no matter what challenges we face whether expected or unexpected.
a. True
b. False
3. Sacred things are important because they remind us:
a. That we are never alone.
b. To see the world outside of ourselves.
c. That we can find a community of people who follow our same beliefs and appreciate them.
d. all the above.
4. Which one does not define a Hope Supporter.
a. Someone who sees your strengths and encourages your dreams and goals.
b. Someone who is always there if you ask for help.
c. Someone who is there for you if they have time.
d. Someone who knows you and appreciates you and helps you keep a hopeful mind.
Hope Activity
Take a moment to think about and answer the following questions. Write them down in a safe place as a positive reminder of how you can support someone with your help, what you can do when faced with unexpected challenges (use your hope tools!) and be sure to identify a Hope Supporter or Supporters in your life.
1) What hope tools would you use during an unexpected event in your life?
2) Is there anything you believe in that brings you hope?
3) Who can you help have hope?
4) How can you support someone?
Identify or ask someone to be a Hope Supporter for you. Complete the Hope Network Worksheet to aid in choosing your support person. Keep this in a safe place.
Download Lesson #11: Challenges to Hope.
Hopeful Minds, an iFred.org project, was made possible through the generous support of The Mood Factory and Sutter Health.